0 How easy to fail

_16.7.2021_ I have been writing every day for more than forty days and today I almost skip a day because I am sick. It's very easy to fail and make anything as an excuse not to do it. There are always excuses, plenty of them not to do it. Especially when I don't see any progress at all or when the progress is very slow. The progress here is often merely the respond of others. This the society, to be successful is to be widely recognized. It's again about money. I hate to admit it but when I watched an interview on YouTube about a content creator who easily earn four hundred millions rupiah a month I really feel that what I do is nothing. I know that it's not fair someone gets so much more than a scientist or professor who works very hard the whole life and earn less then tenth of the money that she earn. It's actually not easy to be recognized publicly on You Tube. The top one percent get it all. It's not uncommon a video about a cat dancing or a girl showing boobs got millions view while an important lectures got only thousands. That's what people value with their time. If only one percent that can be successful, to be failure is almost an absolute probability. It doesn't mean that I should not try it. It sounds stupid to do what I know will fail. I know if I stay true to myself and choose to stick with education, I will get few viewers. It's OK. If You Tube content creators only create junk contents that is popular like junk foods, I can't imagine. Every day I listen to audiobooks on You Tube and lectures. Those videos no matter excellent made, always got few viewers. Anonym cute girl showing boobs can have a millions subscribers white big name like Harvard and oxford maybe only have less then half of it. I shall not envy ignorance. Money is only numbers and I do not need that much. I want more than that to show off and because I don't really know how to manage that much money, I can't get that number. In the past I loved taking pictures and buying expensive gears was just a matter of time. No matter what I would by them. This is how thing works. If I can imagine it and plan to do it, I will do it no matter what. For most people what they can imagine is like ten million per month, and they can only do so much as their imagination. I easily assume that money makes people happy. It is at some level true, but after certain number which is not much, more money won't add more happiness. Just like eating maybe, it makes people happy after certain sum number. I can easily imagine twenty or thirty millions per month if I am successful with my You Tube channel. But knowing that one gets four hundred million after only about a year, it's really something. It open a new horizon as well as make me realize how greedy actually I am. The most important people in the world like Socrates, Kant, Spinoza, didn't get much money at all. So many great painters and writers struggled to make a living. So many military army go to war and scientists live dangerously to do research and they got very little money. When I think about this, how unfair the sistem is. The system today values what is not important, only what is popular. It's not new I guess. Politicians from the history were dominated by greedy assholes and they got everything possible by the system at the time. The got the rewards for even negative impact they created to the people. Finally to fail doing great thing is much better than to be successful doing useless thing. To be poor philosopher is much better than successful porn star. Life is not all about money. For philosopher, money doesn't have that much value. I say this not because envy those successful people. Like a wolf who said that grapes are sour because he can't get them. I know too many people who work very hard and make very little money. They do not even have time to do anything else. They sell their labors and time like slaves. I can't say that they are stupid, that's the best option they have and they live their lives not miserably. They get used to their condition and accept it. As long as that they do not know that someone like them get one hundred times more than them with less work. People often assume money with luck. If one have much money, people say that he or she is lucky. It's very easy to imagine that they are happy. People get used to everything. Happiness is not about money nor pleasure. I learn this story from Buddha's life. Even getting all pleasures that you can get, you still will get old, and sick and die. You will love people you love and everything you value more than money. It's only knowledge that creates true power and can really make people truly happy. Most people can't see this and do not pursue knowledge, they pursue money. Socrates will be learned by people thousands years in the future. The richest people today will be forgotten several month after his death except he created great significant service for society. But still he's value is not as Buddha or Socrates whose name will be forever remembered and valued. It's OK to live simple life. I pursue knowledge and it won't attract so much money. It's OK like that. As long as I can be a good reader and read two or three books in a week to the end of my life, I can say that I am successful. It's always nice to earn more so one can feel secure and help people and family they love. Charlie Munger and Warren Buffet are those who get rich after decades working and become the master in their field. No one envy them because they are so different. I think those who aim merely to get rich won't get so far. It's the idea the makes people meaningful. So many athletes and movie stars get rich and famous and then no one recognize them after their successful period of time. They are enviable for a while. That's life. It's not about fair or unfair, it's just it. The best books and novels are read by less people because they are necessarily difficult. Only best reader can reach them and care. Few people read Marcel Proust or Kant and it's okay like that.