0 Love is a decision

_2.7.2021_ There are more problems to come then what is expected in a relationship. Problems are the fuel of the fire if the flame is big enough. Those who haven't encountered a lot of problems are still unreliable, probably fragile. For example for one who loves painting or drawing. He finds that his families do not appreciate his enthusiasm and dream. They want him to be a doctor or a lawyer. But in spite of all odds he doesn't give up on his dream. He does everything he can and keep failing. If he truly love painting, none of all these setbacks will lessen his love. He will be anti-fragile and nothing can't stop him from pursuing his dream to be a great painter. Most people will just stop, the real enemy is within. This is the same as a relationship. There will be lots lots of problems sooner or later. Those who wish that they do not encounter problems are fragile and weak. It will break sooner or later. Decision making is often involve complex considerations. Not to make a decision means we let other people to make the decision for us. To let it happen is to give up on our own freedom and self-empowerment. People who love themselves they will do what is the best and be the best version of themselves. Love involve sacrifice, the more you love, the more sacrifice you offer. If I love my body and I exercise every day, it's not hurting the body, it makes it strong and meet its potential. Some people will think that loving their body means eating delicious foods and having fun, laying lazily most of the time, make it as comfort as possible. It's stupid love. The purpose of love is to attain the flourishing and fullest potential. I ask myself, what I plan for my body, my career, my relationship, and so on. I can't answer these questions with 100% certainty. I haven't decided yet. Am I not serious about myself? Maybe it's about fear and doubt. Everyone wants to be successful and happy. Yet they haven't made the decision. If one really makes a decision and sticks to that, I believe that he will be successful sooner or later. The only one who stops someone from pursuing his career is himself. I know a good movie about total dedication on pursuing a dream, the title is "Perfume; the story of a murderer". It's an inspirational and eye-opening movie. I want to be one like him. To have unstoppable behavior in pursuing my goal. Now I still have self-defeating behavior. I keep sabotaging myself. Now I set off my journey at writing. I write every single day like a ritual. Every morning I face my blank page, my fear and doubt. I promise myself to do it every day for ever as long as I live. There is always doubt whether it's a good decision, whether people will one day recognize me and read my writing and so on. Most people just want the reward and not the activity itself. If I want to do it without any reward at all, then I am ready to set off. I will be successful writer, someone who writes everyday no matter what. It's getting easier now after a month. I recognize this process well as my journey to be a vegetarian. It was hard at the beginning and getting easier over time. Now I am a vegetarian for ever. Success with one habit, I start to build another one which is writing. It feels good and powerful. When I do thing not for money but for the sake of the activity itself, it means I love it. The goal is to built the habit and after that to improve it constantly. People are often unhappy when they fall in love and they face problems. The reason is that he is unconsciously always expecting the best outcome for them. They think what can I get from her, not what can I give for her. The ego is the enemy. It's the cause of unhappiness in a relationship and in pursuing goal and career. The way to be successful is to keep failing and getting up and learn from the experience. If I'm willing to fail, I'm willing to try doing what I can't do at the moment. If I hate failing, I won't try anything that I know will fail me. Failing is really the way to success and happy life. More I fail, more I learn, and I get better faster. Now I know what to do and how to do it. But it's just the start. To know and to do/act on it are two different things. I know if I read a book for 8 hours, I will finish it. I want to do it, but something stop me in the middle of my effort. It's resistance. The resistance can be anything. Normally it's more pleasurable activities such as checking social media, lying down, watching TV, and so on. It always appears and wins the battle. It's the siren song that turns people into madness and kills them. I need to behave like Ulysses, to restrain myself from my own stupidity. Will power will never win over temptation. Once I make a decision, I should not turn back. I need to keep going no matter what. Even if I see the darkness in front of me. It needs courage to keep going albeit all the odds. It's all about decision making and decision making depends on my understanding. I made thousands wrong decisions in the past because I was ignorance. I learn from that and it creates me today. There is no reason to be unhappy about it. What I couldn’t get, it was simply not for me. I learn to accept anything and keep going. Santiago said in "The Old Man and The Sea", "Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is." Life can be a drama or an adventure. It depends on how we believe and behave on what happens every day. Finally, to love is to take responsibility and to sacrifice. It's more about giving than taking. Love is a decision.