0 We end up doing what is designed for us

_1.7.2021_ Nature has designed us to behave according to the nature. Women behave as women and men behave as men. Shall we behave differently? The behavior of man and woman can be designed or manipulated. How people behave on social media is not surprising because it is designed like that. It's designed to make people addicted. People think that they think and behave independently out of their free will. They don't. They don't even realize that their behavior is being manipulated by some companies, algorithms, or even environments. I want to get married because my biology, my culture, people around me, design this unconsciously. Nothing I do is truly my own decision free from others influences. No action is uncaused. In this sense free will is just illusion. Actually I have very little power to change anything. Even if I change something, will I be happier? To change the behavior, we have to change the environment. At night peope behave differently from at day. Being alone, people behave differently from being with a lot of people. Mostly, people are not aware of their behavior. Therefore, it's easily manipulated and influenced by others. Not only behavior, even what so-called self is merely a pattern that can be altered by design. I can change my behavior and action according to my design. It's not impossible at all. If I want to be smart or wise I can read every day. If I want to have strong body, I can exercise every day. If I want to be rich, I can work as hard as possible every day. It's simple. The problem is that I compete with other entity, company, other people, religion, culture, and so on. They have their own design upon me. If I use Facebook for hours, I have fallen into Facebook's design. If I behave religiously or if I follow the government order to have vaccine for example, I've fallen to their design as well. Do they really care about me? Not particularly. I'm nothing special for them, merely a very little part of their grand design. No one will ever value me higher than myself. So I must put a high value to my time and stick on that. The irony of life is that I can't even control myself. I don't often do what I know is the best to do. I often ask, where is my self-control, free will and independence? I have very little. I can't just make a schedule and do it. It's complicatedly difficult. I often procrastinate on something I know I need to do it. I think I know myself, but I don't actually. I want my room to be as clean as possible like a hotel, but it's not. I behave totally the opposite from my expectation sometimes. I should be able to finish one book every day or at worst three days. I don't. Sometimes I behave as if I am not myself. Who is myself? It turns out just a pattern I am fallen into. My best and my worst behaviors are mine and they are parts of so called self. If I can design myself into a vegetarian and I do it successfully, I can design myself into a writer as well. Now I write every single day. I can design myself into anything as long as I create the pattern. I thank my old-self to behave well and decided to be a vegetarian. It opens a new horizon and new belief that my identity is not fix and unaltered. Now I am designing my self. I have the design for my body, my economy, my reading habit and so on. I can decide to be the best version of me. I know all of this through reading and I should read more and more. I can see as far as my tool allow it. If I use technology and knowledge, I can see viruses, bacteria, planets and stars. This writing will be the record of my past for my future. In the future maybe I will think totally differently and see this writing as ridiculous and nonsense. I do not know how but I don't like socialization. I prefer to be alone reading a book or watching movies than being in the middle of many people that I am not important at all but I must behave as normal person. I know I can change this pattern. I don't have fix identity and I can always change anything as long as it refers to "the pattern" of self. Now I am a vegetarian, I'm a teacher, I like reading, and so on. I can change all of them consciously. I'm lazy, but I can turn myself into the one who works harder than everyone else, a workaholic. I can turn myself into a polyglot or even into a killer if I really want to. In my opinion, reality and imagination are the same things. Who decides which one is reality and which one is imagination? Money is a fiction we all believe as reality. This applies to almost everything. Countries, companies, religions, marriage, are all fiction. As long as all people believe it, it is real. Even mathematic and reality itself are also fiction. This is bottomless pit of philosophical concept I won't go there. Life is basically single player game. It's all in the brain. The true power is knowledge. Reality is made of information. People perceive reality differently. This morning I met a crazy man. He was wearing dirty clothes like a beggar. He walked freely and laughed out loud as if the world was so funny. He was so happy. I never saw any rich people, or beautiful people or strong people as happy as him. I think that the crazy man is better than everyone else. We are all crazy in our own way. A person working hard for money, isn't that crazy. A person breaks his heart because the one he love cheats on him. A person check on his social media hundreds times in a day just to see who likes his update. Those things are not different from what the crazy man did. Reality is a persistence fiction or imagination. What is very normal to most people, to want what they do not need, is very weird to a philosopher. What is normal to a kid, is weird to an adult. What is great to some people is shameful for others. Who decides what is right and wrong, the mind, the knowledge. In the end of the day, we all are dreaming.