0 Capacity and capability

_10.7.2021_ I don't believe in promises and good will, even will power, I believe more in habit. There were time when I promise myself to do something and I failed miserably, and keep failing. At that time, I didn't have the capacity and capability to do what I wanted. I can wake up one morning and want to run a marathon, it won't happen. It can only happen if I start from little and build the running habit. I can learn from my past record, it's more reliable than promises. In the past I wanted to read a book every day, I could do it for several days, and then stop. I forgot the exact reason. I wanted to draw every day to improve my drawing skill, I failed after about one month. It was ambitious project. I don't regret the attempts even if it will end up in another failure. The failure of a project will give more power to the next project. I will regret if I don't try at all. What I failed once, I can do it again better. To start again is not that difficult. Now I can maintain four habits daily. They are writing, barbell lifting, cycling, and creating videos for You Tube. I am adding reading, meditation and studying Mandarin. In the past I could barely maintain one good habit, but now I am confidence that I can handle them. I have the capacity and capability to do them all. The difference between the past me and the current me is the mindset. Since I read Atomic Habit, a book by James Clear, and I also watched a lot of Ted Talks about productivity, I know what to do and what to expect. The knowledge gives me confidence and courage to do a project. Basically it's just habit building. Once I can build it, I just need to maintain and improve it bit by bit. What fails people to succeed at doing something, for example mastering a new language, is the fail to build the habit concerning that goal. Habit is the system that will bring the result in measurable way. What is scalable is achievable. People often do not realize their own capacity to finish a task, whether too overestimate or underestimate their capability. I think most people are able to realize their dream if only they take the first step, a small one, and keep going with the picture in their mind to improve their efforts progressively. The secret is put a number. For example just do it 10 minutes every day. What is exact is easy to do. The other important factor is emotion. The mind is always busy with all kinds of emotions and reasoning, The resistance is always there too, just ignore all the drama, do it for certain period of time and then forget it. Start again tomorrow without drama. The goal is far in the future, but the work must be done daily. Therefore it's important to set a system that will lead to the goal. Put away all expectations and hopes which are unrealistic. Even better just do it with neutral emotion just like brushing teeth every morning and night. When I put the system like this, I can just work for minutes and then forget about it. I know it works perfectly well and my task is just keep doing the work daily. Now I can maintain four five habit together because it needs little time to do it. It doesn't consume my emotional energy and it feels like nothing. I will see the result after five or ten years. This is how the good system works. This is how evolution and nature behaves. It's a certain success. Most people think that it's hard to do meditation, reading, exercising, or building a business. When saying that, the picture in their mind is those who are successful as professional. They focus on the result but never the process. When they try it themselves and do not see the immediate result, then they stop doing and say, it's hard. What they want is immediate result. They do not comprehend the whole system. They can only see a small part of it and judge the whole thing with that little knowledge. What we build for years can be destroyed in minutes. It's true that to stay consistent and persistence is difficult. The temptation to give up is always linger very close to the mind. People are often attracted by easier and more pleasurable tasks, which are often not useful at all. Those who spend most of their time on social media and television are indeed invalid themselves. Their brain is occupied with irrationalities. Now I can see it clearly how foolish it is. Yet I was one of them. I spent most of my time caring about people's update and my update. It's stupidity and madness. I can't understand myself why I did it and why I was addicted to it. Maybe because I felt lonely and needed external validation or maybe something else. I got my understanding from reading and watching to motivational videos. I know that I need to improve a lot. I am ready to take to initial steps to my new life. Now when I have a goal in mind, I set the habit to get it. I write every day to keep the track of my system. That's all that I need to do. This is how it works. I know this even though I haven't seen the single result of my habits because I just started them. To be able to write every day and see them on my blog is a kind of accomplishment for now. I can see my YouTube channel is also improving very slowly and it's ok. There will be a day that it will earn money for me and I can more successful financially. I have spent more than 35 years doing things impulsively and I have seen the results. I am a failure for now. Impulsive actions will end up failure. People think they do not have ten or fifteen years to do something. They want immediate result, as fast as possible. They make decision that will bring the result immediately. They play short-time game. The prize is often not so satisfying. It's like students who study all out one day before the exam. They are destined to fail.