0 Do We Really Need More Time?

Think about the stuffs I can't finish, usually leads me to expect having more time. Time is unlimited but we limit it.  People do everything faster than ever now. Go fast or you are left behind, that's the jargon. And yet everyone thinks they need more time. To do what? to finish the stuffs they don't finish with current available time. Faster we work dont make us have more time to enjoy. How much more time actually we need?

The same question can be address to money or stuffs. Do we really need more money and more stuffs. More money and stuffs suppose to make us happier, but are you really happier now than before, when you were at school for example, when you had less money and stuffs, or when you were children. We all know the answer is NO.

This is serious. We need to resolve this problem. We don't live just to be the victim of our own stupidity or ignorant. We shall think deeper. When a commercial said "just do it", "do more", the question is why? what for? We are survive so far because we "think more". And now when there are 7 billions people on earth and we compete each other for recognition and identity, we maybe need to think more. Happiness is not about more, bigger, richer, but about justice. If you eat more than you need, you will end up with uncomfortable feeling. Imagine we live in an ocean with 7 billion fish, you want to be bigger and faster, you spend your day dream it and do what you think can transform you to be a giant blue whale; believe me, that is not the case to be happy. Happiness is just like freedom, if you want it, you don't have it. Think about it. 

0 Romantika hidup yang tidak romantis

January 11, 2014 at 10:58am

it's not evil that torture us most of the time, it's beauty. it's not the emptiness, it's the hope for fulfillment.

hidup dimulai ketika kita terjaga. seperti sebuah marathon, aku tidak bisa melihat garis finish dari tempatku berdiri sekarang. apa yang sudah kau capai? sejauh mana kau sudah berlari. bila sehari berjarak 60x60x24 dan sebanyak itu pula jantung berdetak dan udara dihembuskan, sejauh mana kau telah pergi? perjalanan ini perjalanan pergi atau perjalanan pulang? siapa yang tahu kemana perginya sang malam ketika mentari muncul di ufuk timur, siapa yang tahu kemana perginya siang ketika matahari bersembunyi. Hidup ini memang tidak mudah diterjemahkan. 5 milyar manusia melakukan perjalanan yang sama menuju akhir yang tidak mereka pahami. Aku pun tidak mengerti kenapa aku melakukan ini, terpenjara dalam sebuah pola yang disebut rutinitas. Membuka mata setiap pagi dan menutup mata di akhir hari. Saat itu yang kuinginkan hanyalah tidur dengan nyenyak, hanya untuk terbangun kembali keesokan harinya untuk merayakan rutinitas yang sama dengan sedikit fariasi di sana sini. Ini telah terjadi selama tiga puluh tahun ini. Aku selalu sadar tidak punya waktu untuk memahami semuanya. Sering terpikir untuk berkata; cukup sudah, aku keluar! namun aku sudah dididik untuk menjadi bagian dari siklus itu, dan tidak ada seorang pun bisa keluar hidup-hidup dari sistem.

secara statistik aku hidup 60x60x24x365x30= 946.080.000 detik hingga saat ini, dan detik-detik ini menjelma dalam rutinitas yang mengakar. Sebagai kehidupan itu sendiri, tubuhku adalah sebuah sistem yang dimulai jauh sebelum sebuah sel sperma diproduksi dan membuahi sel telur dan melanjutkan perjalanan hingga sekarang. Karena sel itu berasal dari kehidupan sebelumnya yang tak terputus menyambung ke belakang hingga mungkin jutaan tahun yang lalu. Jadi umurku yang sebenarnya setua alam semesta itu sendiri. Dari perjalanan yang panjang itu aku berevolusi, merekam informasi dalam setiap kehidupan yang telah lewat, dalam tiga puluh tahun ini, aku sudah banyak berubah. Sungguh manusia semakin cepat berubah dalam beberapa abad terakhir ini. Informasi ini tersimpan dalam DNA yang akan terus hidup dan berubah melanjutkan perjalanan hidupnya melalui keturunanku dan akan terus berlanjut dan berubah.

Kedudukanku di alam semesta ini barangkali seperti kedudukan sebuah sel dalam tubuh. Jutaan sel mati setiap detik namun juga lahir lebih banyak lagi. Satu sel yang mati tidak mengubah apa-apa, satu sel berevolusi menjadi kanker, dan tetap tubuh tidak terpengaruh hingga satu berkembang menjadi dua dan terus berkembang menjadi milyaran baru akan mempengaruhi sistem secara keseluruhan. Apakah aku signifikan? misalnya setiap hari aku membunuh satu manusia sepanjang hidupku, itu tidak akan mengurangi 50 milyar manunisa yang beranak pinak tiap detik, menjadi masalah ketika kelakuanku diikuti oleh individu lain yang menjalar tak terkendali seperti kanker. Dan aku sekarang sedang duduk di sini, di depan layar laptop yang salah satu tombolnya sudah rusak dan mempengaruhi dua tombol sebelahnya. Aku ingin menulis segala yang kuketahui tentang hidup ini, meskipun aku tahu ini pun tidak ada artinya meskipun usiaku sudah setua semesta. akan kulanjutkan nanti.

0 Pondering; when human can’t resist pleasure

January 9, 2014 at 9:31pm

all of us are weakling.
I always wonder what make me and other people make a wrong decision. I always have a situation in which there are basically two choices, to take the hard or easy way. In the morning when I wake up everyday, the choice is whether to go jogging or go listen to music and lay down lazily on the bed until the time force me to go to work, I always do the easy one, the second. If I don't have high education, I will prefer to watch TV all the time, too eat more than I need, to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee, soda, or alcohol, eat fast food, instant noodle, for all of that are easier. But more I think, more I realize that happiness is not give up to pleasure. Pleasure is somewhat dangerous for common people. It kills our strength to survive.
This is the real paradox, human work hard to get pleasure and yet the pleasure will betray them right from the beginning to the end. And then come the idea of ultimate pleasure; heaven. To have sex and food all the time without feeling guilty, to be immortal and beautiful and youth ever after in the heaven. This very idea is 'crazy'. give me a break! it's stupid. I am afraid that many people will call me atheist while I am not. I believe in god but I also believe that heaven is not the place to ruin your morality and call it the reward from the god. Heaven and Hell is nowhere but in our heart. If you believe that god is within you, you must also believe that heaven and hell are also there. But really no one knows.
The true question is; what the purpose of your life. It should be something like heaven, less than that, we'll feel lazy to continue life. Can you imagine that the pleasure that betray us on earth will also betray us on the next life; read; heaven. shall we struggle again ever after because pleasure is evil in disguise?
What is the purpose of our life? Immanuel Kant answer this very question wisely. It is to do our duty. Freedom is only possible if we do it to serve our duty. To be free is to be independent from inclination, not afraid of punishment and not expect reward. And how to know our duty? What is the basis? religion? country? moral? individual? what? Kant said, universalism. For example we have duty to fulfill our promise, since if everyone else do not fulfill promise, the is no such promise anymore. He said this as categorical imperative, that thing is right because it is right, not because the consequence.
back to the start, I believe that all of us are weakling. No one smart enough to know the 1% name of insects in this world. We just in the darkness. And then, shall we optimistic that we have made the right decisions based on the right knowledge? I am afraid we don't have enough time to know that.