0 High Expectation

_7.4.2021_ I love trees. I see them as the perfect example of gradual progress. They grow to the maximum, no rush and no drama. It's calm and keeps growing. If I can learn from the tree, to do one thing only and calmly keep going, I know I will be successful. To focus with one thing only is very challenging. I distract myself. I am the distraction. I have high expectation to be successful as soon as possible. It's good to have that ambition. Yet it often doesn't work. It's the drama in the head. What often work is simply little by little. "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it" (Lou Holtz). I can't lift more than 60 kg at once, but I can move a mountain as heavy as 60 million kg little by little. This is how I climb mountains, a step by a step. I know that I waste my time most of the time. I don't focus on one thing. Everything is easy if I focus and keep going until it's done. If I want to read a book every day, it's doable. Just focus on that. Sometimes I even do multitasking activities. I think it's the best way to save time and accomplish a lot in short time. I know it doesn't work. I need to learn to focus. While writing this, I check my phones several times. That's the typical attitude I have. I check how many people like my status update. It's ridiculous and useless, but I do it. I'm addicted to my phone. I put a tag price on my time. Now I officially announce it here, $100 per hour. I will behave accordingly. I won't do anything cost less than that. No one will ever value me than myself. So I can only do what is important and valuable. If I really do this, I know success is not luck anymore, it's so certain. So far I often fail because the goal is not specific and the method to achieve it is not specific as well. If the goal is to go to the top of a mountain and the method is by walking, I will get there after walking for about ten hours. It's very simple if I do it without drama. Now I must never waste another minute in my life doing anything that doesn't support my goal. People often have high expectation without specific method how to meet their own expectation. It's too abstract to be achieved. Confucius said, one must be specific to be successful. Do not confuse yourself with unspecific words. I need to make a schedule to myself. So I know what I screw up from there. The schedule is the representation of my time and energy. If I do not state myself clearly on a simple schedule, I often get lost in my stupidity, doing what is unnecessary most of the time. This is how I become poor at my age. I can't let it happen any longer. What is done can't be undone. It becomes the lesson that I learn to be better. I should make gradual change through atomic habit, slow but steady. In the competition between rabbit and turtle, the turtle win albeit his slow pace of walking. He has the right attitude, the speed one centimeter per second is enough as long as it is focus and persistence. Some trees grow less than one millimeter per hour, but over time it can grow tall and big. The key is to focus and persistence. I often use reading as another example, if I read one word per second which is very slow, I still can read a book in several days. High expectation often fail and causing unhappiness. People give up too soon because they have high expectation. The expectation is often to achieve it easily, no big problems, no uncertainty and randomness, no volatility. It's a drama of mind. It's better to have clear and detail method and be realistic. In "Outliers" a famous book by Malcom Gladwell, one needs to spend approximately ten thousand hours practicing until he can master the skill. It's equal to ten hours a day for three years or three hours a day for ten years. It's true that success is not easy. It's all hard work for long time. Most people do not realize this and give up easily after few efforts. It's about understanding and attitude. If you know that you will fail continuously for years to have warrior mindset and become anti-fragile, you won't give up that soon because you know what to expect. You won't be surprised and broken by failures. Naval Ravikant said that life is a single player game. It means that we play against ourselves. On my phone I have this kind of game. The enemy is my own limited skill, the purpose is to improve the skill through practices. After I fail hundreds times, normally I can go to the next level. It's indeed to difficult at the beginning. I really need to fail hundreds times to finish a level. It's all on me to keep going or to give up and stay in the same level for days, weeks, or forever. It depends merely on my mindset and attitude. My old-self as well as most people give up very easily. I dislike uncomfortable feeling of being a failure and struggle to clear the challenges. Now I will put myself together and keep going. I should defeat my ego before I can defeat the obstacles in the game. With the right expectation and clear method, I know I will make it. That's how successful work. It's highly predictable and achievable as long as it's scalable. I know I will be successful in about ten years. Now I'm starting to play the game with the right expectation. I won't waste my time and energy to sabotage myself. I'll get focus and persistence. What if I fail? It's good, I need to fail thousands times in a day to be anti-fragile and keep going playing the game. In the past my ego didn't allow me to continue. I stopped and tried to forget about it. I distract myself with mindless entertainments on social media. Now I start to understand and develop warrior mindset. I welcome failure, randomness, obstacles, volatility and all kinds of problems. It's the way to get there. I'm ready for all of that. Do not wish me luck, I do not need it anymore.